The inner thoughts of the baby's future as best as his parent's can translate them...


This is my dad. He's almost 40 years old. That's very old, isn't it? When he grows up he wants to be a writer. Right now, he's a pirate. I think he wants me to be a pirate when I grow up. Or a wench. Depending. He's scared to be a dad again. It's been a while. But he'll like me anyway.

Dad is something of a corporate retard. He can't work in the working world. So he stays home and makes stuff on his computer. He says he's self-employed. Whatever that means. I think it's neat that he works at home. Now if he could only make some money doing it so he can send me to college. Dad - are you listening? That's OK. I think he'll be a good dad because he's just a big kid. The only problem is I'll only get toys he likes to play with. And I'll never get near them.

I hope he likes to clean up blurps. I'm going to really like blurping. I hope a 40 year old can remember how to clean up blurps. Geez, I've never had a dad who's middle aged.


This is my mom. She's a lot younger than dad. And she's pretty, too. At least her insides are. I can't see her face yet. But she has a nice mommy voice. Especially when she's singing. She sings with daddy in a band. And I know she's going to sing to me when I'm born.

She works with daddy sometimes and at the Silverdale Chamber other times. She's an Xekutive Direkter or something like that. She gets to tell people what to do. Sounds like a good thing to be when I grow up.

Mommy is excited about me, even though I make her sick to her stomach sometimes. Just wait until I'm older mommy. Then you'll have reasons to be sick to your stomach when I spread little poopies all over the walls of my bedroom when you think I'm sleeping. Aren't babies neat, mommy?


This is my step sister, Becca. She's daddy's little girl and moved in with mom and dad two years ago. She's a very cool older sister. Her room's all decorated with lots of pictures from magazines and she went to Europe last summer on her own.

She's a junior at South Kitsap High School and is on the flag team there. She's going to be a really neat sister. She even drives now. She's also learning how to cook in school, something she calls Culinary Arts. I wonder if that means my cereal will be a little better tasting than what dad knows how to make. He has a thing for Cream of Wheat. Yuk! I hope Becca's going to like having me around. And I hope I get to learn a lot from her.


This is our dog Jasper. He's a beagle, but daddy just says he's really a pooping and puking machine. Just wait until he sees me! Jasper will be a lot of fun to play with. It's just like having a little brother, only mommy says Jasper's not really a boy anymore because of the operation. I hope I don't get an operation like that! Mommy says he's an "It" but I'll just call him Jasper. I hope he likes little babies to play with. It's neat having a dog. Even though I don't even know what one is yet.


This is our house. We live in Port Orchard. Mommy and daddy moved here about two years ago because it was a nice place to live. Some mean people in town are trying to tear parts of it down right now. But mommy and daddy are fighting them so that I can grow up in the same town they love. Their first date was here. And they almost bought a house here. But I'm glad they didn't because it would have been too small.

For a while, I'm going to live in mommy and daddy's room so that they don't get too much sleep. And then I'm going to move into my very own room downstairs next to their office. Then I can finally get the chance to see what daddy really does for a living.

The best part of the house is we have a big park across the street from us. I can't wait to get to be a skater and skate in the skateboard park there. Daddy, what do you mean you had it removed? What kind of daddy are you?